The Buddy Guy Chronicles 4: Buddy Guy has been challenged. Can YOU Help?

Hi, my name is Buddy Guy and I accept all challenges. Eight months ago, my roommate made a bet with me that I couldn’t meet pop singer Rihanna within a year. I have to not only see her but go up to her, shake her hand and say, “Hello, my name is Buddy Guy.” If I lose, I have to walk from the George Washington bridge to the Brooklyn bridge wearing a sandwich board sign of his choosing. This is no big deal to me because I know I’m going to win the bet. I never back down from a challenge.

Throughout my life I’ve undertaken many challenges. Some challenges are personal and some challenges come from my friends, enemies, or both. No challenge is too big for Buddy Guy.

Take these challenges for instance:

Meet a Pop Culture Icon

During my junior year of college I was given till the end of my collegiate career to meet some sort of Pop culture icon from the 1980’s or 90’s. This seemed like a reasonably difficult challenge seeing as the stipulation was that I couldn’t go to a book signing or anything of the sorts. As a big fan of the hit show “Saved by the Bell” I set my sights on Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins). As luck would have it, I was elected Senior Class President at the Florida State University. I used a large amount of our budget to bring Dennis Haskins to speak on campus. Not only did I meet him, but I got to interview him, go to a bar with him (he wasn’t drinking, unfortunately), and he even took me and a few other people out to a restaurant to get some food. He was genuinely a nice guy. Case in point: Buddy Guy wins challenges.

Notice how I somehow look like Zack Morris

Notice how I somehow look like Zack Morris

On a side note I was also issued a challenge to meet a Civil Rights leader (weird, I know.) I won that bet, of course.

This was directly before I shook his hand and said. "Hello Jesse Jackson. My name is Buddy Guy."

"Hello Jesse Jackson. My name is Buddy Guy."

Weight Loss/Weight Gain

Buddy Guy is awesome. Buddy Guy is charming. But Buddy Guy was not always in the best shape. I’ve done several challenges involving weight. My first attempt was called “The 30 Day Challenge,” which basically involved eating healthier (The typical Buddy Guy diet consists of 7-8 Cokes a day, hot wings, and McDonald’s) and exercising every day. The intention was not to lose weight but to just get in shape. Incidentally I did lose 23 lbs. Here is the result:

Tanning helps, too.

Tanning helps, too.

Now, to be fair to my body I also embarked on a weight gain challenge. This is where gluttony and excess was the key. The challenge was simple: I had to gain as much weight as possible in two weeks. The end result was a nice 16 lb weight gain in just 14 days. Sorry, no picture.

My favorite weight loss/weight gain challenge was my “Double Cheeseburger Diet.” Inspired by the subway commercials, I decided to eat only McDonald’s for two weeks. I chose to eat only two double cheeseburgers a day for two weeks. Not only did I complete the challenge and lose 4 pounds, but I also saved a lot of money, spending just $28 in two weeks on food. Buddy Guy always wins challenges.

Tattoo Initials on Body

So my friends thought that Buddy Guy was not hardcore enough to tattoo his initials on his body. Haters always greatly underestimate how hardcore and awesome I really am. I’m pretty sure you know how this challenge ended up… (Hint: I’m the one with my initials tattooed on my buttocks.)

Yeah, that's a "BG" on my right butt cheek.

Yeah, that's a "BG" on my right butt cheek.

End result: I am $100 richer and win yet another challenge.

Convince a Fraternity that I was a brother

Now let me preface this challenge by saying that I have a lot of respect for fraternity members. At FSU they were generally very nice guys and involved and active on campus. However, I did get into a conversation with a member of one fraternity about how some fraternities are so large that you could go to a party and convince the other guys that you are a pledge and they wouldn’t know the difference. So I did just that and even got into a few pictures. Here is one:

Variations

When you lose bets to Buddy Guy, you have to deal with the consequences. Just ask fellow ULOT writer Matt Dover. He lost a bet to me when the Alabama Crimson Tide lost to the Florida State Seminoles in football. His Facebook profile picture for the next week was this lovely piece:

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Buddy Guy always wins challenges

Here’s What YOU Can do to help Buddy Guy keep his streak up

My latest challenge is to meet Rihanna. I have until February 10th, 2009. This is probably my most difficult challenge to date. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who may be acquaintances with the pop singer, please email me at contacttheulot@gmail.com. I am NOT a stalker and not particularly even a big fan of Rihanna’s. I was simply issued a bet and I simply must win this bet. I need your help. Remember, Buddy Guy never loses a challenge.

–Buddy Guy

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2 Comments

Filed under Buddy Guy Chronicles

2 responses to “The Buddy Guy Chronicles 4: Buddy Guy has been challenged. Can YOU Help?

  1. Resolute Defense

    Great post, some of the funniest stuff I’ve read. This post has also inspired me to stand up to the infamous “gallon challenge.” It’s going down this weekend.

  2. mastap

    hilarious….i will keep this in mind

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