Day 23 AIM: What do I do if I my students ask me to buy them alcohol?

Do Now: Consider that if you teach high school, many of your students have already been exposed to the retarding effects of alcohol consumption on the development of the human brain and cognitive skills. But they don’t care; despite the pep-rally assemblies, free-style raps against drunk driving, and role models on the CW who just say no to booze, your students will still kill for a Smirnoff Ice. Come on, they’ll say, you really gonna waste our flava?

Yes, we will. Aside from the obvious legal shit-show that would follow said illicit transaction, there’s something existentially unnerving about our students doing the same things that we do on the weekends. If I want to enjoy a raspberry Smirnoff Ice with my friends, then I have every right to because my high school diploma says so. But morality aside, the unnerving thing about all of this is the realization that the next generation is beginning to do the same things we do. Humans are not naturally comfortable with this two-way street, which is why older people are comfortable in their naivete when faced with future innovations and subtlety. I feel this every time I confiscate a Side-Kick and I try to open it in front of them. I simply can’t, and my students as a result laugh at me like I’m some sort of squirrel with down-syndrome. But it’s OK. After all, the joke’s on them: at the end of the day, we’re the ones who get to come home to a fridge full of nice, cold Smirnoff.

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